spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
