I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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