Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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