well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
the liver wants what the liver wants
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
