even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
