I look better un-naked...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize