u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
