Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize