I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just found puke in my bra..
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize