do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
