So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
