I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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