just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
