can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
