I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
