we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
