is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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