If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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