ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
