I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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