Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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