Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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