my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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