Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
