Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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