Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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