the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
