as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
