I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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