i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
even my farts smell like vagina
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Randomize
