I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's blow job season.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize