Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
