Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
