I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
