That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There r osticjed everywhere
Less talking, more tequila
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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