She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You pole danced in your parka.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
