well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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