I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
