"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
