It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Randomize
