I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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