Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
