You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
