I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
