i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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