remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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