the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
