she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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