I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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