Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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