So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
