Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
