Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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