I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
