Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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