Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
