OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
