Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
