Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
