I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
