I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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