dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize