There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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