I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
