I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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