After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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